fear

Fear. A remarkably well-designed, primal defense mechanism, with the sole purpose of keeping us alive and safe. Which was absolutely crucial when we were living in caves and facing impending death via saber-tooth tiger on a daily basis, yet it's something that holds us back in many aspects of today's society. I'm experiencing this personally as I envision what my future life looks like. I've always hated the question "where do you see yourself in 10 years?" because I never had an answer, but for the first time in my life I am actually forming a much clearer image of what my future has in store. And while that future looks SO good in my mind, the path to get there is full of new risks, new challenges and new sacrifices. While I'd like to tell you that I'm tossing my worries aside and charging forward fearlessly, I'm not. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I won't be skilled enough, smart enough, hard working enough or even liked enough. And that even if I am all of those things, some unforeseen event would come along and ruin it all. These things are hard for me to admit, and from the outside may seem trivial, but it's the truth of what I'm experiencing right now. However, with that being said I am also acutely aware that I am having a biological experience; that the fear is present because my body senses risk and therefore thinks that I need to be protected, and it will do everything it can to keep me "safe." I also know, with absolute clarity, that if I want to grow as a person and improve my life, facing these fears is crucial and will require massive amounts of determination and courage. I know that the fear will be present either way, my job will be to overcome it.
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"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."
-Nelson Mandela