Every time I share a photo from a previous trip it makes me eager for the next. Fortunately I won't have to wait much longer, as I'll soon be heading back to Asia to explore Nepal for the first time. Most of my trips include lots of time in cities, and lots of time in nature, however this trip will be almost entirely nature. Apart from a few days in Kathmandu, the remaining 15 days will be spent trekking the Annapurna region of the legendary Himalayas. There will also be a short detour to visit Tilicho Lake, which, for it's size is considered the highest lake in the world (16,138 feet above sea level). This trek will likely be the most demanding physical experience I've ever encountered, but I'm feeling prepared. I've been exercising regularly and snowboarding at elevation, which should help, however parts of the trek will rise to nearly 18,000 feet, which is far higher than I've ever been, so that will be the real test. But I'm confident my body and mind are strong enough to get me through, and I can't wait to bring home some incredible photos, stories and memories.
"Only those who will risk going too far can find out how far they can go." -T.S Eliot
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I like things simple, yet I'm always amazed at how much work simplicity requires. The universe seems predisposed for chaos, and it's a constant battle to counteract that. One battle I've been wagging for a while now is decluttering my home. How did I get all this stuff?! My place doesn't have much storage, which has acted as a natural barrier to prevent me from accumulating even more, but I still can't believe how much can pile up over time. Some of these things I literally haven't used, seen or thought about since I moved in 7+ years ago. And as I continue the process of selling, donating, or throwing away the things I no longer want, it's been interesting to observe my reaction. Sometimes my heart knows something has to go, but my brain desperately wants to keep it. I do believe we have a biological predisposition to hold resources, and the conditions in which we were raised can absolutely have an effect as well. But for many of us, the stuff piles up far past the point of logic. And, like chaos, illogical thinking requires a lot of energy to combat. Although, I have found that even the things that were hardest for me to part with have barely even crossed my mind since I let go of them. I've learned that the goodbye is the hardest part. And the more I understand that, the easier the goodbyes become. As if the trick to letting go is to... let go.
"What we call chaos is just patterns we haven’t recognized. What we call random is just patterns we can't decipher." -Chuck Palahniuk I just spent a few days snowboarding in Tahoe. I have been snowboarding most of my life, and while I am nowhere near the best snowboarder on the mountain, I think it's fair to say that I have gotten quite good. I only mention this because, even after decades of practice and proven competence, I almost always feel anxiety before snowboarding - like I'll forget how to do it. I feel anxious on the drive to the mountain, I feel anxious getting ready in the parking lot and I feel anxious riding the lift to the top. However, the moment I strap my feet onto the board my anxiety disappears. At that point my brain sort of shuts off, muscle memory kicks in and my body just does what it's done for years. And it's always worth pushing through. I remember experiencing something similar when I used to play guitar on stage. Leading up to a show I'd be stressed, and anxious and honestly dreading the performance ahead. I remember thinking that I'd completely forget how to play all of the songs that I'd spent countless hours practicing - songs I could literally play with my eyes closed. Fear can be so irrational. However, similar to strapping on my snowboard, once I got on stage and felt the guitar in my hands, the fear disappeared. My body remembered even though my brain doubted. And the thing I was dreading ended up being a reward. I've learned that anxiety comes from anticipation, and that the only way to counteract it is with action; by actually doing the thing. The difficult part is that fear and anxiety are not nice feelings and they make us want to avoid whatever is causing them. But avoiding discomfort is the opposite of growth. The lesson, really, is to embrace the fact that fear and anxiety will almost always be an obstacle, to be okay with that, and then to just do the thing anyways. Action beats anxiety every time. What stands in the way becomes the way. "The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." -Marcus Aurelius Before the photography workshop I attended in April, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I had never done a workshop before, and my mind was creating some worst case scenarios: what if I don't know how to do this, what if I don't know how to do that, what if I look like a rookie in front of the group, what if I make a mistake, what if I miss the shot, what if I ask a silly question, etc. And here's what ended up happening... I made mistakes, I missed shots, I looked like a rookie, I asked basic questions... yet the world didn't end. No one cared. In fact they were happy to help. And it was wonderful. Now, looking back, there were three lessons that really stood out to me.
First, never act like a master when I'm still the student. The ego often prefers the reverse. If I had gone in with pride and an attitude, the group would have seen right through me first of all, and my ego wouldn't have allowed me to ask the questions that helped me improve the most. No one wants to help the know-it-all, they want to help the eager and humble student. Second, I learned that I can learn anything if I actually dedicate time and energy to it. The key is putting in the work instead of just hoping to improve. Being green just means I have more room to grow. If you like my photos now, you won't believe what I put out in 5 years. That's an exciting thought. Third, the most important aspect of getting "the shot" is actually getting out there. Going and doing it. Not talking about getting the shot, not thinking about getting the shot, not staying in bed sleeping. It's sacrificing sleep to drive in the dark, getting to the site early, and then simply waiting patiently for the right light and the right opportunity. It takes action and it takes patience. And it's worth it. "Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily." -Thomas Szasz |
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